Praying like Widows

I see three doctors on a regular basis- a nephrologist (kidney doctor), a cardiologist, and an oncologist. I see a gastro doctor and naturopath on an “as needed” basis. I met with my nephrologist recently. He reviewed my latest lab work. The numbers were going in the wrong direction. He commented, “Well, I won’t be raising any red flags… just yet.” I was troubled by his words. “Just yet?” Not this time, but maybe next time we meet? Doctors look for trends. They need to see the results of at least two labs before the flags come out in earnest. Between labs I sometimes worry.    

In December I met with my oncologist, the doctor who oversaw my transplant. He ordered labs as usual. This time my kidney numbers were going in the right direction, and I’m encouraged. 

My life is like this, and I’ll guess yours is too to some degree. Constantly changing. Up and down. Hope and discouragement. Victory and defeat. Joy and disappointment.   

When I was going through my chemo treatments, a couple we met were great encouragement, a lifeline to us really.  The husband, on top of having amyloidosis, also had multiple myeloma. Like me, he went through a stem cell transplant. It worked for a while. Then it failed. He’s on a new treatment plan and it’s working. He doing things he never thought he would do. I remember one conversation we had. He had just come in from washing his car. I thought, “Wow, I’d giving anything to have the strength to wash my car.” He gave me hope. 

 But then, recently, I found out he’s having double vision and his wife, heart issues.   

When you hear news like this, our impulse is to pray. Maybe for some of us, some cussing first.  

This morning I was thinking about the parable Christ told about the Importunate Widow. The widow in the story served as the model Jesus gave of what it means to “pray unceasingly,” to not give up.   

Why a widow? A widow is vulnerable. She has little or no resources. She’s often helpless. If we’re not literally widows, what’s the take away for us? Nagging God gets us what we want? 

Actually, we’re all widows. We just don’t know it.   

My diagnosis in the fall of 2018 seems like yesterday and a long time ago all at the same time. Shortly after getting that news, I had a gut level sense that I would survive and my life would be extended. It would come, though, at high price. Amyloidosis is not a disease you beat, it’s a disease you fight. Continuously. Always. Two of my doctors were very direct about the likelihood of my having only “months to live.” Before and during treatment, I continually thought about Jenny, my wife of over 40 years, and what it would be like for her to move forward in life without me. A new desperateness characterized my praying. I was crying out to God, with and without words. 

I re-read the story of Hezekiah. You may know it.  You can read it in 2 Kings 18–20, Isaiah 36–39, and 2 Chronicles 29–32.  God told him to put his house in order. He was going to die. This wasn’t up for discussion. Hezekiah begged God for more time, and God gave it to him. 

Feeling hopeless and being out of control, I reminded God that what I was asking for was “nothing new,” just following Hezekiah’s example. I don’t know why he answer my prayer. I wasn’t the only one asking, many of you were praying for me.  But he did, and I’m beyond grateful. But like you, I also know of Godly people who have prayed as I did. They had others praying for them too, and they didn’t make it. I’m bothered by this.   

Some would say that God answered these prayers by “taking them home” where they received complete healing. While that’s true, that’s not the kind of healing they were praying for. Of course, in the presence of God there is complete healing,  

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.” Revelation 21: 4. 

We should pray like the widows we are. We’ve got to cease trusting in whatever it is that provides the sense of security we’re all seeking. The outcomes of our prayers are God’s business, out of our hands really.   

About my recent labs. They were overall good. The biggest number change shows I’m not losing as much protein, an indication that my kidneys working more efficiently. Loosing protein results in body wasting, poor absorption. My body appears to be repairing itself and rebuilding. Over the last several months I’ve gone from losing several thousand milligrams of protein a day to 650 milligrams a day. The trajectory is good.  

What can you pray for? Healthwise, continued improvement in the organs that have been damaged: kidneys, the gastro system, and especially the heart.  My heart numbers, while not good, are stable.  Jenny, I, and our yellow lab, Fortune, are walking in the forest behind our home about three miles a day.  I’m sure it’s having a good effect on all of us.    

Like you, we’re hoping and praying for a better 2021.  Thanks especially for praying. It means so much to us. 

Curt