Living Memento Mori Part 4: Suffering when You’re Not the Sufferer

Emily DeArdo in her book Living, Memento Mori, has a chapter titled, “In It Together.” This chapter is associated with the fourth station of the cross in which Jesus meets his mother on his way to his crucifixion.  Mother and Son are in this together. Emily refers the reader to the time soon after Jesus’s birth when Simeon speaks to Mary and says,

“This child is destined for the falling and the rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be opposed so that the inner thoughts of many will be revealed- and a sword will pierce your own soul too.” ~Luke 2:34-35

Suffering is not always physical as I wrote previously. It can be emotional, mental, or spiritual. Care givers to those who are going through physical suffering suffer themselves. This is especially true of mothers and their children. They often experience helplessness and powerlessness. They can’t take their child’s pain away. They can’t trade places  as much as they would like to. While they can be hopeful about the future, the fact is they don’t really know what’s coming next. The comfort they give is tempered by the reality of uncertainty.

While care givers advocate on behalf of the sufferer, their  advocacy is limited. Imagine what Mary felt, the suffering she went through, while Jesus, her son, was dying on the cross. There was nothing she could do to stop this.

Living memento mori means understanding and accepting the fact that if we suffer, and we likely will, it could be  as the one afflicted or as the care giver to the afflicted. It could be both.

Thanks for reading!

Curt Bumcrot, MRE

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