Is it Worth it? A Question for Your Children

Are you ready for the beginning of another year of home schooling? Scrambling a bit? I know the feeling. This time of year is a good time to remind ourselves why we’re home schooling in the first place- what our main focus or goal will be, what we hope to instill in our children. What we come up with won’t be our only focus, just our primary one.

In our increasingly monetized, “pay per click” culture, our kids need to be taught what wealth is, and what it isn’t. In other words, the worth of an activity or possession. One church hero you can point to who lived out the difference was St. Lawrence. I’ll get to his story in just a moment.

This past week Jenny and I were visited by long-time friends from out of state. On the final day of sight-seeing, we drove to Silver Falls State Park for a day of hiking. On the way back, we passed by a cemetery established in the 1800’s. I casually said, “That’s where we’ll be buried. In fact, the plots are paid for and ready to go.” My friend told me he had already done the same and had made his arrangements. We both kind of laughed. Just thinking ahead.

Made me think about headstones and what is written on them. Things like “beloved wife,” “faithful friend,” “father and husband,” etc. What you won’t see on a headstone is summed up by what Bill Perkins wrote in his book, Die With Zero: “Bear in mind that I have never seen somebody’s total net worth posted on their tombstone.”

This is not to say that money or assets are unnecessary, unimportant, that “all I need is Jesus and I’m good,” kind of thinking. It is to say that having wealth in the form of “stuff” is not the primary measure of what we might think of as “the good life.”

Richard Cory, is a poem written by Edwin Arlington Robinson and published in 1897. It describes a man who many envied and had it all as the saying goes- until you get to the unsettling last line. Here’s the poem:

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

We people on the pavement looked at him

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,

And he was always human when he talked;

But still he fluttered pulses when he said,

“Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king—

And admirably schooled in every grace:

In fine, we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,

And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

Went home and put a bullet through his head.

Things are not always what they appear to be.

Contrast this measure of wealth with the perspective and actions of Saint Lawrence. Lawrence, a deacon, lived in the third century during a time of persecution by the Emperor Valerian. Valerian issued a command that all bishops, priests, and deacons be killed. Lawrence’s bishop had just been executed. Now they were coming after him. As a deacon, he was in charge of the church’s wealth in his locality. The prefect of Rome demanded Lawrence turn it all over. Lawrence was given three days to gather and present it.

Three days later, in place of the physical treasure of the church, Lawrence presented the indigent of the city to the prefect. He told him they were the true treasures of the church. Lawrence had given away all of the church property to the poor and needy.

Furious, the prefect ordered that Lawrence be promptly executed. History is not clear if it was by decapitation or by literal grilling over hot coals. Lawrence’s final line, if the grilling version of his death is correct was memorable: “ I’m done on this side. Turn me over.”

So back to a question worth discussing with your older children this year. Is it (a possession, an activity) worth it? If so, why? Our actions, how we spend our time, reflect what we value. Our behavior is subject to change. We’re so prone to getting off track.

Asking the question, “Is it worth it” is worth asking regularly.