Choosing What Matters Most
Six years ago I almost made a decision that had I followed through with, I would have regretted for the rest of my life. Not that I haven’t made decisions I’ve regretted; I have, and I’m sure many of you have too. In this case, my father, then 85 years old and living on his own in a small desert town in Southern California, invited me to attend a family reunion. I went back and forth in my mind about whether I could and should go. Classes at Basic Skills would be beginning soon, my summer clients needed to schedule with me, there were decisions at work that required my attention, and on and on. Could I really afford to take a week off when there was so much competing for my attention?
I eventually decided to fly down and join him for what would be the last time I would see him.
What Matters
I have a book by Greg McKeown titled Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less in my audible library. I forgot I even owned it until just a few days ago. In it he tells a story about the famous author, Steven Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey was out on a father-daughter date with his daughter, Cynthia who was 12 at the time. They were in San Francisco. Cynthia had looked forward to this time with her dad for a long time and had planned a number of activities. Just as the evening was beginning, Covey ran into a college friend and business associate. Their conversation went on for a while, and then his good friend invited Stephen and his daughter to join him for dinner so they could talk about some business ideas he had. McKeown writes:
Cynthia felt dispirited. Her daydreams of trolley rides and ice cream sundaes evaporated instantly! Moreover she hated seafood and could just imagine how bored she would be listening to adults talk all night.
Cynthia’s father replied, ‘Bob, it is so good to see you. Dinner at the wharf sounds great.’ She felt her heart sink. But her father continued, ‘But not tonight. Cynthia and I have a special date planned don’t we?’ He winked at Cynthia, grabbing her hand and running out the door to continue on an unforgettable night in San Francisco with his daughter, just as he’d promised.”
McKeown heard that story from Cynthia just weeks after her father had passed away. She said, with deep emotion, “Bonded him to me forever because I knew what mattered most to him was me!”
What Matters Most
Seeing my dad and going to the reunion was great, fun. But more importantly, on the day that I arrived, my dad took me to his favorite Mexican bar and grill, a place called the Ocotille.
He liked the food, but more importantly, he loved the family who owned it. He loved the way they welcomed and included him. He ate his afternoon meal there along with the other regulars, coming in around 2:00 or 3:00 probably 5 out of every 7 days a week.
Not long after we had sat down in the booth and waitress took our order (the usual—tacos), he began to tear up and cry, telling me of his faith in Christ. The bar got really quiet, kind of an acknowledgment and respect by his friends for what was taking place. I was shocked at what I was hearing, not sure I was hearing correctly. But, it was the real deal. God had shown him his need for forgiveness, and he embraced Him.
A little over three months later he was killed in a car accident. Ironically, he was leaving this same restaurant after enjoying his regular afternoon meal.
I relate these two stories because they remind me, and hopefully you too, that each of our lives are made up of daily decisions which require us to make choices. I know that the idea of choosing what matters most is a little hard to pin down. But I do know that if I’m faced with choosing relationships or “tasks or opportunities”, the choice is pretty clear—at least at this point in my life. Now for the resolve and commitment to carry that out!
Here at Basic Skills we’re wishing the best for you and your children as you anticipate, prepare, and begin home schooling for the 2018-2019 school year.
Thanks for reading!
Curt Bumcrot, MRE
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