Can Your Children Recognize Real and Healthy Relationships?

Last fall a new AI driven app was launched. The target audience: Those who had suffered loss. Specifically, the loss of a loved one such as a parent or grandparent. The app capitalized on the universal desire to have just a little more time, another visit or two, with someone you loved.   The app promised a solution, a way to “talk to the dead,” and a way for them to talk to you. Virtually instantaneous. Just a click away on your phone!

You can view the app here: and watch a review of it here:

The app builds upon the foundation of digital relationships that are commonly used by most of us today. The app creators assume the growing acceptance that digital relationships are just another way to “know” someone, to be in “relationship.” Digital relationships of course are made possible through various platforms like Facebook, X, YouTube. All of us, almost without exception, communicate through social media and get things done.  I do, and I know they can be helpful and can facilitate relationships.

However, our children need to know that digital relationships are not superior substitutes for real, in- person relationships. We need to stress that digital connections are not the same as in-person get togethers. Convenient, yes. Useful, yes. Practical and often necessary, yes. But not the same.

I encourage parents to facilitate and find ways to form in person activities and friendships. This will take time (ours), and I know we all already feel pushed to get more done with less time.  But, if we don’t take the time to do this, there will be a void.

Chat GPT is filling that void. So is the app mentioned above.  The difference between real and digital “relationships,” relationships even with machines, is blurring quickly. It’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s not. The possibility of bad, irreversible outcomes is already showing up.

The example of Jesus in Mark 3: 14 underscores the importance of doing life together in person. 

He appointed twelve that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach.

The emphasis on being with him first, being sent out second. Real, tangible, communal living is what Jesus had in mind. While not the only choice, many would say that the home schooling educational platform presents a similar mentoring and instructional model. I would agree, but I would underscore it’s not the only choice. We must admit that no educational method or learning context guarantees the desired outcome. There is no fool-proof system when it comes to teaching and raising children.  That’s far too simplistic. There are too many variables that enter into our and our children’s lives. Still, Jesus’ example is relevant to our understanding of the importance and nature of real, in person, relationships.

I think of an article that appeared in Christianity Today magazine from almost 50 years ago, one that I quoted in a short e book I wrote, How to Ask Questions That Matter. The article was a reimagining of a conversation between a student and teacher.

A Seminary That Changed History

Student:            I can’t outline what you say.

Teacher:           Life and thought and conversation seldom conform to an outline.

Student:            But that makes it hard to prepare for the exam.

Teacher:           What exam?

Student:            The one at the end of your course.

Teacher:           You’ll be taking my exams for the rest of your life.

Student:            I don’t understand a lot of what you’re teaching us.

Teacher:           You won’t for three years.

Student:            That’s the whole course.

Teacher:           No, it’s only the beginning of the course.

Student:            Do you have any idea what my class standing will be?

Teacher:          You’ll fail the course, along with the rest.  But then all of you will turn the world

upside down.  Except one.

Student:            When we’ve finished, will we know as much as the Pharisees?

Teacher:           No, you won’t know as much, but you’ll be changed.  Do you want to be

                           changed?

Student:            I think so.  Is your teaching relevant?

Teacher:           Is it true?

Student:            You seem to throw questions back at me instead of answering them.

Teacher:           That’s because the answers are in you, not in me.

Student:            Will we see you in class tomorrow?

Teacher:           The class continues at supper and the campfire tonight.  Did you think I only

taught words?

Student:            Is there an assignment?

Teacher:           Yes, help me catch some fish for supper.

                                                                                          EUTYCHUS VIII

Thanks for Reading!

Curt Bumcrot, MRE

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