Memento Mori Part 13: Our House in Order
Just before Jesus died, he cried out, “It is finished!” His work was over. The work of his followers was just beginning.
- Arrangements had to be made and permission given to take Jesus off the cross
- A linen shroud to wrap him in needed to be purchased
- Myrrh and aloes for burial purposes needed to be paid for
- Jesus had to be taken off the cross
- A tomb to place Jesus in needed to be secured
- His body needed to be laid to rest
Necessary tasks. For us in today’s world, the funeral, memorial service, and burial arrangements are pretty straight forward tasks. Dealing with the final wishes, assets and the estate of the deceased may not be.
Living memento mori in light of the 13th station, Jesus is taken down from the cross, suggests the importance of having a plan, one in which our wishes and financial involvements are clearly spelled out. Do I want to think about this? No. But if I don’t, I’ll be adding stress to those who will be closing out my affairs when I’m gone. With a plan, doing what needs to be done won’t be as hard as it otherwise would be.
A plan means putting our house in order as best we can. Doing it now and not putting it off.
Why now, and not later?
Because, as I have written in previous articles, you could leave life right now!
Almost 12 years ago I got the call that no one anticipates, that no one wants to get. My dad, living in another state, was leaving the parking lot of his favorite restaurant. He was broadsided by an incoming vehicle and did not survive the impact. Whatever expectations I had of what my relationship with him would be in his final years ended in an instant.
My father led a very disciplined and organized life. I think this was largely due to the effect his time serving in the marines had on him during World War II. Everything he owned was where you would expect to find it- tools in the garage, clothes arranged and hung up, kitchen counter free of clutter. He lived by the clock. If things were moving slower than he thought they should, he’d jokingly say, “Better get going, you’re burning daylight.”
The day following the news of his death, my wife and I flew down to California where he lived. When we entered his house, everything was neat and orderly as I expected it would be. While my dad didn’t expect his life to end when and the way it did, he was prepared in case it did. His will and last wishes were direct and up to date. Instructions for where to find necessary documents were clearly communicated. Spare keys were hung up and in plain sight. Was this his way of “putting his house in order” so that those who survived him would have an easier time doing what needed to be? Part of me thinks “yes,” but mainly I think this was just the way he lived.
For those of us whose lifestyle is not so disciplined, we need to intentionally get our act together as the classic saying goes, and at least annually review and update our plan. What will be in the plan? Things like a list of financial accounts, bank cards, passwords, subscriptions, how bills are paid, etc. While we might not foresee everything that will need to be done and communicated upon our passing, we can foresee many things.
Getting it down in writing will take some time. Providing your spouse with a copy of it and explaining what he or she is reading is part of the deal. Will you feel/be exposed? Maybe. Could this be embarrassing? Sure, if you find yourself justifying the number of digital subscriptions you’re paying for. Will it lead to a spousal argument? That’s a possibility. But going through the process will help our loved ones have an easier time when we’re gone.
As I write this, I’m realizing I’ve got some work to do myself.
Thanks for reading!
Curt Bumcrot, MRE
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