Teaching our Children to Respect and Avoid Vilifying Others

  In my post on Monday, I suggested that unplugging from digital media may
be a key to finding our way back to more healthy relationships. Giving
our brains a break is necessary to learning to be at peace with
ourselves and others, to be able to think and respond thoughtfully to
what’s going on around us. It’s necessary to avoiding being sucked
in to _reactionary mode_ every time someone expresses a viewpoint
contrary to ours. We and our children desperately need this.

  I’m currently reading a book titled, The Myth of Good Christian
Parenting by Marissa Burt and Kelsey McGinnis. The authors criticize
many of the leaders and _influencers _that were popular when we were
parenting our children who are now adults. I think their points are
solid.  The subtitle of the book, “How False Promises Betrayed a
Generation of Evangelical Families,” clearly lets you know where
their overall argument is going to go- an expose of a prosperity gospel
application to parenting.

The reason I bring the book up is that while I may disagree with some
of what is written in the book, I appreciate the authors’ delivery
tone. You don’t find them trash-talking those they are criticizing.
That one take away alone would benefit our children if we practiced it.
If we could stop giving in to the temptation of vilifying and mocking
those we disagree with, as popular and acceptable as this is in our
culture. It begins with us.

As I’ve mulled that over, I thought about the thee national Christian
leaders who’ve died in the last two years.  All three at one time had
a profound influence on me for good. I can also say that they also
disappointed me as well. In my disappointment, should I write off their
entire ministry? No. But in today’s culture, that’s commonly what we
and our children see modeled. This is the era of “taking sides,” of
“us vs them.” it seems impossible to affirm the good and admit the
bad in the same person.

Here are the three Christian leaders I’m thinking about:

Hal Lindsey, died November 25, 2024. Back in the 1970’s I was swept
up in the hippy culture. As a consequence of my reckless behavior, I was
forced to pause, to slow down. Since I was to lay low, my father, not a
Christian, gave me copy of Hal Lindsey’s Late Great Planet Earth. I
remember telling my dad, “This guy’s an alarmist, a kook.”
Still, I started reading it, curious about the end of the world
according to Hal.

Within the book the gospel was presented. This stimulated more
questions, and my neighbor, seeing I was in a searching mode, led me to
Christ. Soon after my conversion, I headed down to Calvary Chapel led by
Chuck Smith.

The promised rapture of the church taught in the book did not happen
as promised.  I soured on dispensationalism, the theology that
accompanied this teaching and the obsession many hold with the end
times.  I was on to other things.

John MacArthur, died July 2025. I was introduced to John MacArthur-
his books, his sermons. He came to the school I was attending and spoke.
I owe it to him for stirring up in me love for God’s Word.

Later though, he said some things I could not get behind, taking pokes
at confessional Christian traditions. He over- simplified the cause of
psychological problems people were experiencing. He made it clear that
in his opinion these problems were exclusively spiritual. A lot of
damage was being done. I just couldn’t continue down this path.

James Dobson, died August 2025. Going in the field of teaching, I was
introduced to Dr. James Dobson. His writings help me understand and
manage the children in my classroom. He oversold that obedient children
lead to obedient adults. This over simplification and his growing
emphasis in political action not to my liking.

The point in writing this is not to suggest I was right and they were
wrong. It’s to say something I’ve noticed about myself. I tend to
bite down hard on these sorts of things. It’s a tendency to feel that
I need to be 100 percent in someone’s camp, or to oppose them
completely. To suggest if they are “          ” in one area, they should be
censored in all areas. In other words it’s an all or nothing kind of
thing.

All of the above leaders and national figures helped me.

You have your own list, or you eventually will in the future.

Respect your leaders, but don’t worship them.

Remember what Augustine said:  _In essentials agreement, in non
essentials charity._

Teach your children to do the same.

Thanks for reading!

Curt Bumcrot, MRE

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